


The Hardest Act To Follow

by AValorousChoice



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Don't copy to another site, Family Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Roman Is A Jerk To Begin With, Selectively Mute Remy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2020-05-12 09:37:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19226500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AValorousChoice/pseuds/AValorousChoice
Summary: After his sister’s untimely death; Roman, a selfish and arrogant young actor, discovers that he is now the sole caregiver of her six children who he hasn’t seen in years.Everything in Roman’s life is turned completely upside down as he navigates how to become a single father to eleven-year-old Logan, nine-year-old Remy, seven-year-old Patton, five-year-old Valerie, two-year-old Emile and baby Thomas.He has to give up everything he knows and loves to take care of these kids who he doesn’t even have a real bond with… but not all hope is lost, for he eventually meets Virgil, an anxious and lonely writer who (to Roman’s surprise) is more than willing to help him figure out this whole parenting thing.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Brain aneurysm, death mention.

* * *

 

In retrospect, Logan should have first realised something was wrong when his mother, Calliope, didn’t wake him up for school.

Even though he was only eleven, Logan was someone who lived his life by a routine, and his mother was very conscious of that fact. Every morning she would get him up at exactly seven o’clock, so he was _horrified_ to discover that it was just past nine.

_He was late for school!_

Logan threw his blankets off and swung his feet over the edge of his bed, searching blindly for his glasses. He found them and jammed them on his face, jumping slightly when he spotted his younger brother staring at him from the doorway.

“Miss Brenda is here,” Patton said.

Logan inwardly groaned. Their neighbour Brenda was a nice lady but she was also incredibly nosey, and was really the last thing that Logan needed.

“Well, go and tell Mom,” he said. “I need to get ready.”

“But Mommy is still sleeping,” Patton said. “I tried to wake her up but she is really really sleepy!”

That piece of information immediately caught Logan’s attention. How could their mother still be asleep, especially with two small babies in the house?

Though if his mother was really tired then it would make perfect sense as to why she hadn’t woken up.

“Okay,” Logan sighed. “I will go get the door.”

“But Mommy always says we have to wait for her to answer it.” Patton said.

“You said she was sleeping,” Logan reminded him, “and it would be rude to leave Mrs. Peterson waiting.”  
  
Even if he really, really wanted to.

He left his bedroom, and unlocked the front door. “Good morning, Mrs. Peterson,” he said, looking up at his neighbour.

“Logan?” Brenda frowned. “Shouldn’t you be at school?”

“I slept in.” So did the other kids if Patton was any indication.

“Oh? Where’s Calliope?”

“She is still sleeping,” Logan shrugged. “Patton tried to wake her.”

Brenda raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

No, it did not. “Perhaps, she is not feeling well,” Logan suggested.

Brenda pursed her lips. “I’ll go and check on her,” she said after a short pause. “Why don’t you take the younger ones and go over to my house. My husband is home, he’ll make you some breakfast.”

“What about school?” Logan said.

“It’s a little bit late now, Logan,” she said. “You can miss one day.”

“But I have a perfect attendance,” Logan insisted.

“It really isn’t that big of a deal.”

Logan begged to differ, but he was also a child who always did what was requested of him, so he gathered the other kids up and made the short walk to Brenda’s house.

Brenda’s husband, David, was quite surprised to have a bunch of young children suddenly appear on his doorstep but he allowed them inside without much fuss. Logan didn’t really know why they had to leave home in the first place, but Brenda had appeared quite concerned, and he guessed she had good reason; Calliope never stayed in bed unless she was ill.

David’s phone rang while they were eating breakfast, and Logan saw Brenda’s name flash across the screen before David picked it up, accepting the call.

“Hey hon,” he said into the phone. “What’s going- Wait, slow down. I can’t hear you-” He broke off, his face darkening the more his wife spoke. “Oh..You’ve called them, then? Yes? Good. Okay...I’ll be right there.”

He hung up and Logan knew instantly that something was wrong. “What is it?” Logan said. “Is everything okay?”

“Stay here.”

“But I-”

“Just stay here, Logan.” David left no room for argument.

However, the children would not stay seated; as soon as David had walked out, they ran to the window and pulled open the curtains.

They watched as David disappeared into their house and didn’t emerge for a long time afterwards. Logan felt his stomach drop when he saw an ambulance pull up into their driveway and he quickly ushered his siblings away.

The younger ones didn’t seem worried but one look at Remy’s face, and Logan knew that they were both thinking the same thing.

_Something’s up with Mom._

They were all unusually silent, filtering between the window and the television, as they waited for Brenda and David to come back and inform them of what was going on.

They were left on their own for nearly an hour and although Logan knew how to take care of his siblings, he didn’t enjoy it, so he was quite frustrated when Brenda returned.

“What took you so long?” he asked, not even caring about how rude he sounded.

On a normal day, she would have scolded him for his harsh tone but, as Logan was only seconds from learning, it was not a normal day. It was the furthest thing from a normal day.

“Children,” Brenda said, her eyes red and watery. “Um… There’s something I have to tell you.”

It was the absolute worst day.

 

* * *

 

Logan didn’t remember very much about the days that followed.  
  
He knew that his mother, who had been complaining of a severe headache beforehand, had suffered a brain aneurysm. Brenda had said it had happened while she had been sleeping and she wouldn’t have felt anything when she slipped away. _It was most likely quick and painless,_ she had said. Logan found that hard to believe.

He knew that the younger kids struggled to understand what was going on. He knew that they cried for their mom all the time, for which he could scarcely blame them, he would have cried too if he could muster any sort of emotion.  
  
Honestly, crying would have been a relief; anything was better than the dark emptiness that was consuming Logan.

He knew that he and his siblings were to stay at Brenda’s house until his mother’s funeral but he couldn’t say what was to happen to them after that. He didn’t have the strength to ask.

It wasn’t until after the funeral, when all the guests had gone home to their normal and non-empty lives, that Logan finally questioned Brenda.

He wanted to make sure that none of them were going to be split up.

“Oh, your mom would never have allowed that to happen,” she assured him. “After what happened with your dad-”

“You mean when he abandoned us,” Logan said.

Brenda bit her lip nervously. “Anyway, after _that_ , Calliope updated her will just in case something should ever happen to her. She made sure that you’d have someone to watch all of you. The last thing she ever wanted was for you all to be separated.”

“So who will care for us?” Logan asked. “Will you continue to do so?”

Not that he needed anybody to look after him; he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He just wasn’t so sure that he could raise five children on his own. He was only eleven, after all. He couldn’t do _everything_.  

“No,” Brenda chuckled. “As much as I enjoy having you all, I have my own life that I have to get back to,” she said. “Besides, this house is far too crowded with you and my children in it. No. From now on, your uncle is going to be in charge of you.”

The children stared at her. “We don’t have an uncle, Miss Brenda,” Patton said.

But Logan knew that that wasn’t true.

Logan had only met Roman once in his life, and he had been a baby at the time so he couldn’t remember it, but he heard a lot about his uncle from his mother.

According to her, Roman was arrogant, egotistical, obnoxious and self-centered; she had constantly complained about him.

So why would she have chosen him as their carer?

If she had disliked him so much then why had she placed him as their new guardian?

And if he was as bad as she claimed then why on earth would he have agreed to take them in?

It made very little sense to Logan, and Logan hated when things didn’t make sense.  
  
Logan couldn't help but think that everything seemed to be going from bad to worse.

Logan exhaled slowly and all eyes turned to him. “Yes, Patton,” he said to his brother. “I am afraid to inform you that we do indeed have an uncle.”


	2. Goodbye and Goodluck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman farewells his old life, and meets his new one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Death mention, swearing and slight homophobia. 
> 
> Another short chapter, I promise they'll get longer soon. It's just to introduce the character.

* * *

 

“Okay, just run it by us one more time.”

Roman snapped the lid of his suitcase shut, and glared at his two friends. “I am not telling you again.”

“Not the _whole_ story,” Seraphina waved a hand at him. “No, we only want to hear the bit where you explain whether or not you’ve lost your mind!”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Roman said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m being ridiculous? Me?” Seraphina scoffed. “I’m sorry, did you miss the part where you agreed to adopting your sister’s kids?”

“It’s not permanent,” Roman tried to placate her but she refused to be calmed.

“Six children are pretty damn permanent, Roman!” she shrieked.

“Only until I can find their dad,” Roman said.

“Ah, yes, their dad that ran off,” Seraphina said sarcastically. “What makes you think you’ll be able to find him? No, what makes you think you’ll be able to convince him to come back?”

“I can be very persuasive,” Roman said. “Would you just relax?”  
  
“You’re looking at this the wrong way, Seraphina,” Jasper, who had been uncommonly quiet, piped up. “This could be a good thing.”

“How, exactly?” Seraphina snapped.

“It’ll be good for his reputation,” Jasper said. “Just imagine it; a guy who took some time off from his acting career to take care of his sisters kids after she died. People eat that shit up.”

“He’s right,” Roman said. “There won’t be a single company who will refuse to hire me after this.”  
  
“I still don’t see why they can’t move in here,” Seraphina whined.  
  
“I’m not having this house destroyed by a bunch of rugrats,” Roman said in disgust.

Seraphina sighed and sat down on the edge of Roman’s bed, placing her hands in her lap. “I think you’re crazy,” she said after a pregnant pause.

“Undoubtedly,” Roman said.

“You really believe that you can find their father and get him to take them back?”

“I’m positive I can,” Roman said. “I’ll be back before the end of the year, I’m sure.”

Seraphina bit her lip. “Until then, can I have your assistant?” she said. “I fired mine yesterday, and I guess you won’t be needing yours for awhile.”

“Kylie?” Roman shrugged. “Sure, she’s all yours.”

“Fine,” Seraphina nodded, “but make sure you spread the word about this, won’t you? It’s no use wasting all your time on these brats if nobody is around to see it.”

“Obviously I will,” Roman said.

“Then I guess there’s nothing left to say,” Seraphina said, “except goodbye.”

“And goodluck,” Jasper put in. “You’re going to need it.”

Roman doubted that. He knew what he was doing.

 

* * *

 

There was another reason Roman was willing to pack up his entire life in a big city to take care of a group of children in a small town; he had promised his sister.

Roman had only been ten years old the first time Calliope had gotten pregnant at seventeen, and her parents had kicked her out of home. They had told her that she was far too young and that they disapproved of her boyfriend to which she had argued that they had just never loved her like they did Roman. Roman had thought that that was a load of rubbish, but being a kid, he hadn’t really worried about it much.

The final straw had been when she had given birth to her son _\- Logan, was it?-_ and had announced that she was getting married to her no good boyfriend. Her parents had cut off all ties with her, and Roman didn’t see her again until his parents funeral.

She had approached him after the service admitting to him that her husband had walked out on her and that she was pregnant with her sixth child.

Roman had resisted the urge to say, _Mom and Dad told you so._

She had confessed that the sudden death of their parents had made her fear where her own children would go if she were to meet the same fate. She had revealed that the very last thing she wanted was for her to kids to ever end up separated or distant from each other like she and Roman had become.

Roman had almost laughed in her face when she had questioned if he would adopt her kids if anything were to happen to her. It was only when she had asked him again that he had realised she was serious.

He had called her crazy, telling her that she was obviously emotional about her husband leaving and she didn’t know what she was saying. Calliope had insisted that she was of a clear mind but he was the only person she had left to turn to.

In the end he said he would take them in, if only to shut her up. He had never thought anything would happen to her so it seemed like such an easy thing to agree to at the time. He had also thought she would never remember their deal, but when he had received a phone call from her lawyer only a couple of days after her death, he understood just what he had gotten himself into.

However, a promise was a promise, and no matter what people thought about Roman, they could never say that he didn’t keep his word.

 

* * *

 

It was just after midnight when his plane finally landed, and he didn’t get to Calliope’s house until around one am. He was grumpy, tired, and in half a mind to turn around and go back home as he stomped up the pathway. He reached the front door and raised his hand to ring the doorbell when the door was yanked open by a furious, middle-aged woman.

“Are you insane?” she hissed. “I only _just_ got the baby to sleep!”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Roman said. “Shall I leave? Because I have no problem with returning home.”

“No, no,” the woman sighed, stepping back. “Roman, I assume, come in. ”

“Much obliged,” Roman sneered. He wandered into the house, taking note of the mess of toys and clothes scattered all over the floor.  “Nobody thought to clean up?”

“Clean up-Are you-” the woman stammered. “You do understand that this is a house full of children whose mother died a week ago, don’t you?”

“I’m aware,” Roman said. “Believe it or not, I did hear what happened with my sister.”

“You could have fooled me,” the woman said. “I don’t recall seeing you at the funeral.”

“I couldn’t make it,” Roman said. It was true, he had been out of the country when his sister had passed. “Who are you, anyway?”

“I’m Brenda,” the woman said. “Calliope’s - or well, _your_ next door neighbour.”

“Oh goodie,” Roman said. “So, why aren’t you in your own house?”

Brenda stared at him as though he were an idiot. “Someone had to watch the kids while we waited for you to get here.”

“Isn’t the eldest eleven? That’s old enough to take care of everyone for a few hours,” Roman said, sitting down on one of the dining-chairs.

“Oh boy,” Brenda said under her breath. “How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Twenty-one,” Roman said. That was a bit rude of her, he hadn’t asked her how old _she_ was...The miserable old hag.

“Oh boy,” Brenda repeated. She sat down across from him, “and you’re absolutely sure that there is nobody else to do this?”

“Trust me, if there was then I wouldn’t be here,” Roman said.

“And wouldn’t that be better for all of us,” Brenda said. “Especially if what they say about you is true,” she mumbled.

More than likely, she didn’t intend for Roman to hear that, but he did and he frowned at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hm?” Brenda blushed. “Oh, nothing.. It’s just that..Well, I’ve read about you in the magazines.”

“Okay?” Roman said.

“And I do wonder whether some of your, uh, choices are appropriate,” Brenda said.

“My choices?” Roman echoed. What the hell was this woman raving on about?

“I’m talking about your dating choices,” Brenda said. “I don’t think it’s the best example for the children. Perhaps, you could tone it down a little while you’re here?”

Oh. Hell. No.

Was this homophobic bitch serious?

During the filming of his latest movie, Roman had revealed in an interview that he was gay. He had no shame in it, and he had grown accustomed to the hate comments, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t irritate him when people reacted badly to it.

And this woman was asking as if it was a choice? Fuck that.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gay _all_ the time,” Roman said.

Brenda blinked. “You’re not?”

“No, I’m only gay during the full moon,” Roman said seriously. “That’s when I go really crazy, chasing all the men in sight and trying to make them marry me,” he found joy in the horrified expression on her face. “As soon as the sun comes up though, I’m back to being as ordinary and dull as the rest of you.”

Brenda looked furious. “That’s idiotic,” she spat.

“And so is your backwards view on sexuality, babe,” Roman said as he examined his nails with mild curiosity. “I’m bored with you now.”

“Excuse me?”

He glanced up at her. “You’re boring me,” he said. “Do be a lamb and lock the door on your way out, won’t you? I’m rather exhausted from the flight.” He smiled and patted her cheek.

Brenda swatted his hand away and jumped up. “I don’t know what the hell Calliope was thinking with you,” she said, “but mark my words, if you hurt those children then you will have me to answer to.”

Roman chuckled, looking her up and down. “Ohhh, I’m shaking,” he taunted. “Didn’t I ask you to leave already? I hate to break it to you because you look like one of those ladies who thinks she’s in charge of everything, but this is my house now, and you’re not welcome here anymore.”

“I wouldn’t want to stay here for a minute longer than necessary anyway,” Brenda said, already heading for the exit.

Before she left, she turned back to look at him, her expression unreadable. “God, I hope you know what you are doing with them,” she said. “For their sake more than anyone.”

“Thanks for the faux concern,” Roman said. “It really is touching, but don’t lose any of your much needed beauty rest over it. I’ve got this.”

Honestly, he didn’t understand why nobody believed in his abilities.

All he had to do was take care of six kids under the age of twelve.

How difficult could it possibly be?

  



	3. Uncle Roman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids meet their uncle, and are less than impressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! A little note to say that in this chapter they go to a mall and there is a grocery store inside that mall and I know Americans don’t have that but I’m Australian and it was convenient so please forgive me. Also thank you for being so patient with this story!  
> WARNINGS: Death mention, yelling, arguing, name calling, Roman upsets/is a jerk to the kids, selective mutism (dunno if that needs a warning but jic).

* * *

  
For the second time in a week, Logan woke up to find his brother staring at him from the doorway.

“You have got to stop doing that,” Logan said. “Is something wrong?”

“There’s a man,” Patton whispered. “He’s sleeping on the couch!”

Logan sighed; of course Patton would have forgotten. “That is our Uncle Roman,” he said. “Mrs. Peterson said he would arrive last night, remember?”

“Oh.” Patton said then smiled, “can he make us breakfast? I’m hungry! Maybe he can cook pancakes like Mommy does! The ones with chocolate chips!”

“There is no harm in asking, I suppose,” Logan mused as he climbed out of bed.

Patton giggled and ran over to the other bed in the corner of the room, jumping on it. “Remy!” He called, shaking his brother. “Uncle Roman is here!”

All of this was like a game to Patton, a fun little adventure; Logan knew that the other kids didn’t really understand where their mom had gone, and they were probably all under the belief that she would return.

Logan wanted to talk about it with them, he wanted to make them see that she was really gone, but he also didn’t want to upset them anymore.

Besides, discussing it with them meant that he would have to relive it all over again, and Logan just couldn’t do that. Not yet.

So he left Patton and Remy to it, wandering into the living-room to see his uncle. If it weren’t for the magazines and pictures his mother had shown him then Logan wouldn’t have been able to recognise the man snoring away on his couch, but he immediately knew his hunch had been right; that was Roman. 

Finding himself rooted to the floor and staring at his uncle’s sleeping form, Logan couldn't bring himself to move forward. There was something that didn't feel right about the man passed out before him, but this was who was to be their guardian from now on. 

The muffled sounds of his siblings behind him was enough to push him forward to approach Roman. Being the eldest certainly placed a lot of responsibility on his young shoulders, but it was a burden he was willing to bear.

Logan tentatively reached out a hand and shook Roman’s shoulder. “Excuse me?”

Roman swatted his hand away and grunted. “Wha-?” he mumbled.

He opened his eyes and blinked up at Logan wearily. “Hello,” Logan said. “The other kids are hungry.”

Roman snorted. “Do you have a kitchen in this house?”

What kind of question was that? Of course, they had a kitchen. “Obviously.”

“And do you know how to make a bowl of cereal?” Roman asked.

“Since I was three,” Logan said.

“There you go,” Roman said and rolled over so that he was no longer facing Logan. “You’ve solved world hunger.” 

“No-No, I haven’t,” Logan frowned, but Roman was already snoring again.

No matter. Logan could get breakfast for everyone, Roman was obviously still tired from his trip. Patton would be disappointed to not get any chocolate chip pancakes, but perhaps Roman would show them how to make them later on. 

Hopefully he would be in a better mood once he was fully rested.

 

* * *

 

As much as Roman wanted to keep sleeping, it wasn't long before the chatter from the dining room woke him again, and he decided he might as well just get up and investigate what was going on.

Roman had known that his sister had given birth to a large number of rugrats, but seeing them all sitting around the table made him truly understand that six kids was _a lot._

Two of them were sitting in high chairs, one shoving a handful of mush into his mouth, and the other bashing his sippy cup against the side of his chair, none of which was helping with Roman’s fast forming headache. 

Were children always so noisy?

One of the kids, a small boy with curly blonde hair, round glasses too big for his face and a mass of freckles spotted Roman and scrambled out of his chair.

“Uncle Roman!” He cried, running over like some sort of small demon. “Hi!” the boy wrapped his arms around Roman’s legs, looking up at him with a wide gap-toothed smile. “My name is Patton! I’m seven!”

“Am I meant to care?” Roman said, trying to pry Patton off of him. “Why are you touching me?”

“He is hugging you,” the boy at the head of the table said. 

Roman recognised him as the one that had woken him up. He appeared to be the eldest, and had short brown hair, horned rimmed glasses, and… was that a necktie?

This tiny nerd was wearing a necktie.

“I can see that,” Roman said dryly. “How do I get him to stop?”

“You don’t.” The tiny nerd said. 

“That’s Logan!” Patton said and pointed at the tiny nerd. “He’s eleven.”

So that was Logan. Roman hadn’t seen his oldest nephew since he was a baby, and was actually quite shocked at how much he had grown. 

Patton _finally_ relinquished his grip on Roman’s legs, and continued to introduce the other kids. There was five-year-old Valerie who was the only girl of the bunch, the baby making a mess with his food in the high chair was Thomas, and the toddler whacking his sippy cup was two-year-old Emile, or “a meal” as he pronounced it.

“-and this is Remy!” Patton announced. “He’s nine.”  
  
He patted the last remaining child on the shoulder. Remy had a pair of sunglasses atop his head and was wearing a leather jacket that was at least three sizes too big for him. “I really don’t give a damn,” Roman said, and Patton’s face fell.

“But… he’s my brother!”

“So?” Roman said.

Patton pouted and sat back down at the table, staring at his toast sadly. “I miss Mommy.” He whispered.

“You could be nicer to him,” Logan said to Roman. “He just wanted to introduce you to everyone.” 

“Yeah!” Valerie piped up. “You’re mean! You made Patty sad!”

“Whatever,” Roman said with a roll of his eyes. “As soon as I find your dad I’m out of here anyway.”

That caught the children’s attention, and Patton immediately cheered up. “You know where Daddy is?” he asked.

“No. That’s why I said I have to _find_ him,” Roman replied.

“Why would you want to do that?” Logan said.

“So I can convince him to come back,” Roman said, “and he can take care of you.”

Remy snorted and Roman raised an eyebrow at him. “Is something funny?”

“I think he finds it amusing that you think our father will return just because you ask him to,” Logan said. “He didn’t even come back for the birth of Thomas.”

“Yeah, thanks nerd,” Roman snapped, and Logan shrunk back in his chair. “But I was asking _him_.”

Remy glared at him and shoved another spoonful of his cereal into his mouth. “He won’t answer you,” Logan said after a minute. 

“Why not? Is he deaf?” Roman asked. 

“No.” Logan sighed. “Remy hasn’t said anything since Dad left us. Mom said the doctor called it selective mutism, but she said it probably won’t last forever.” 

“I wouldn’t be upset if it does,” Roman said.

 A quiet child was a good child, after all. 

The kids didn’t really say much more to Roman as they ate the rest of their food, and he waited for them to be finished before asking Logan for a tour of the house. 

It didn’t take them very long; despite the family’s size, the rented house only had three bedrooms. Logan and Remy were paired up in one, Valerie and Patton in another, and the master had been home to both Calliope and the two youngest.

“Why did she get such a small place?” Roman said.

“We didn’t have any money once Dad was gone,” Logan explained. “Mom got the first place she could pay for; she used to work two jobs.” 

“Two? That’s a bit excessive, isn’t it?” He said as he walked around Calliope’s room, already envisioning the changes he would make. 

“She had to buy us things.” Logan said. “What are you doing?” he added, watching Roman grab one end of Emile’s toddler bed and drag it towards the door.

“I am not sharing a room with a couple of kids,” Roman said. He pulled Emile’s bed into the corner of Patton and Valerie’s room before returning to Calliope’s bedroom and grabbing Thomas’s crib. 

“But what if Thomas wakes up? Won’t he keep us up?” Logan said as Roman placed the crib in between Logan and Remy’s beds. 

“Always a possibility,” Roman said, failing to see how that was his problem. “Does your mother have a car, by any chance?” 

“She has a minivan, why?”

Roman sighed. Of course she had a minivan, it made the most sense, but as if he wanted to be caught driving one.

“I have to go to the mall.” Roman explained. 

He had to buy a new bed frame and mattress; there was no way on earth that he was sleeping in a bed that somebody had died in. 

“Okay,” Logan nodded. “I’ll go get the other kids.”

“You- What? No, you’re not coming with me!” Roman said. 

“We can’t stay here,” Logan insisted. 

“How come? You’re old enough to take care of the others, aren't you?” Roman said.

“No.” Logan said. “Besides, we need food and diapers for the baby, and other groceries.” He folded his arms and stared up at Roman stubbornly. “Would you even know what to look for?” 

 

* * *

 

How had Roman’s life come to this?

One minute he’s a famous young actor attending parties and premieres, the next he’s driving a minivan to the mall with his dead sister’s devilish children in the back.

He pulled up outside the mall and got out of the car, expecting that the kids would just follow him. He was halfway to the entrance when he heard a shout. 

“Hey! Wait for us!” 

Roman turned around to see Logan struggling to open up the stroller while Remy helped Emile out of the car. “What’s taking so long?” Roman groaned, jogging back over to them. 

“It’s heavy!” Logan said.

“Don’t whine,” Roman said sternly. 

“I’m not, but you could help,” Logan said.

Roman didn’t think that was necessary, it seemed that the tiny nerd was doing just fine on his own; in fact he had the stroller ready to go in no time at all. 

“Right, can we go in now?” Roman said once Logan had strapped Thomas in.

“Ed.” Thomas said suddenly, his bottom lip trembling. 

“Uh-oh.” Logan muttered.

Remy dove inside the car, evidently looking for something in the backseat. “What’s going on?” Roman asked Logan. “Why is his face doing that?” he pointed at Thomas. 

“Ed!” Thomas said, higher this time.

“Remy, hurry up!” Logan called. “He’s going to start screaming.” 

Thomas’s eyes were filling up with tears but luckily Remy stepped out of the minivan with something inside his hands. Upon closer inspection, Romans saw that it was a turtle plushie. “Ed!” Thomas squealed as Remy handed it over. 

“Just in time.” Logan breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Uh, is somebody going to tell me what that was all about?” Roman said. “Who’s Ed?”

“It’s Thomas’s favourite toy.” Logan started. “Its name is Teddy, but Thomas can’t talk properly yet, so he calls it Ed.” 

“Mommy got it for him when he was born,” Patton continued. “Thomas gets really sad when Teddy is gone.” 

“Trust me, you never want to lose Teddy.” Logan said. 

Roman sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. At this moment, he’d be happy to lose these kids. 

He decided that to ease the pressure on him, he’d use the buddy system. By making them keep an eye on each other then he wouldn’t have to focus on them so much and would be free to do as he pleased. 

He paired Emile with Remy and Valerie with Patton, which they were all happy enough about, but Logan didn’t seem too impressed. 

“Thomas is a baby,” he said. “How is he meant to keep anybody safe?” 

“Man, you ask a lot of questions.” Roman said.

Patton grabbed Valerie’s hand and the two of them skipped ahead as the group moved _finally_ into the mall. 

“Logan is smart!” Patton told Roman. 

“Mommy says he’s a genius,” Valerie piped up.

“Your mother had six kids and no husband,” Roman mumbled, more to himself than anyone. “The bar wasn’t set very high.”  
  
They went to the furniture store first, where Roman ordered a new bed to be delivered in a few days. He also bumped into a couple of fans of his who were surprised to see all the children with him. Roman did what Seraphina and Jasper had suggested and he talked himself up, telling the strangers how he had adopted the kids out of the generosity of his heart. The fans were in tears by the end of the conversation, which was perfect. 

The more attention he got from this, the better. Nobody would refuse hiring him for any acting role now, not unless they wished to be hated for turning away somebody as selfless as Roman was.

He moved onto the grocery store next, and hung back as Logan took charge piling up their shopping cart with food and baby products. 

Roman was glad when they were finished, because both Thomas and Emile were getting fussy and Logan told him that it was their nap time, an idea that Roman could get behind. 

Roman was not the most observant person when it came to anything other than himself but even he didn’t miss the way that Logan was practically spinning around in circles while Roman loaded the shopping into the car. “What the hell are you doing?” he said.

Logan looked up at him in a panic. “Where’s Patton and Valerie?”

Roman glanced around, he counted the kids and realised that Logan was right; there were only four of them. “Hmm...Which ones are they again?” In all honesty, he hadn’t been paying attention.

“They were with us only five minutes ago,” Logan said. “They can’t be far.” 

“Well, with any luck they’ll run into a nice rich old couple who were never able to have kids of their own,” Roman said.

“This is serious!” Logan cried.

“What made you think I was kidding?” Roman said.

“Ugh! Forget you!” Logan threw his hands up in the air as he ran back towards the mall. 

“Wait! Are you sure you don’t want to take your buddy with you?” Roman called after Logan’s retreating form. “What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked Remy, gesturing towards Thomas who was starting to fall asleep in his stroller.

Remy rolled his eyes and kicked Roman’s shin before he gripped Emile’s hand and followed after his brother. 

 

* * *

 

Roman caught up to the kids just as they reached the information desk. Ater Remy had kicked him, he had almost gone straight home, but the thought of having to take care of Thomas without Logan had been enough to convince him to go after them. 

The bored looking security guard behind the desk was on the phone when Roman got there and he was begrudgingly writing something down on a small notebook. 

“Sure thing,” he said into the phone. “Yeah, I’ll do it right away. Calm down.” He hung up and yawned, peering at Roman and the children in front of him. 

“Good afternoon, uh...sir…” Logan said. “My brother and sister have gone missing, and I was wondering if you could perhaps make an announcement.” 

“Lost a couple of kids, huh?” the guard said with a smirk. “Boy and girl?”

“A brother and sister is commonly a boy and girl,” Roman muttered and Remy snorted.

The guard checked his notebook again. “Patton and Valerie, by any chance?” he asked Logan.

“Yes, that’s them.” Logan said and Roman saw the colour rush back into his cheeks, the kid had been looking rather faint.

“Yeah, they’re at Hot Topic,” the guard said.

Roman and Logan caught each other’s eye, and although they were both thinking the same thing, it was Roman who asked first. 

“Hot Topic? What the hell could they possibly be doing at Hot Topic?” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman will become nicer eventually lol


	4. Virgil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Valerie make a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Death mention, swearing, arguing, Roman upsets/is a jerk to the kids, selective mutism (dunno if that needs a warning but jic).

* * *

Roman and the kids had been heading back to the car when Valerie had stopped suddenly and tugged on Patton’s arm. 

Patton looked at her. “I have to pee!” Valerie announced, “and you have to come cause you’re my buddy and Uncle Roman said we have to stay together!”

“Okay.” Patton said without hesitation, sure the others would wait for them. 

He followed Valerie to the nearby restroom and waited outside the cubicle for her; he waved at all the women who came in because his mommy had always told him to be nice to everyone.

When Valerie was done, the two of them walked over to the sink but they realised it was just slightly out of either of their reach. “Excuse me,” Patton said, pulling on an old lady’s jacket. “Can you please turn the water on for Valerie?” 

The woman smiled. “Of course, honey.” She said, turning on the tap so that Valerie could wash her hands. 

“Thank you!” Valerie said. 

“That’s okay.” The woman replied and waited until Valerie had finished with the tap. “Where’s your mother? Is she around?”

“She’s in heaven!” Patton said. He didn’t know much about heaven but everyone always said it was a super pretty place, maybe they could visit his mommy there one day! 

“Bye!” Valerie said to the woman, and grabbed Patton’s hand before the pair ran off again. 

The mall was rather crowded now and both kids realised that they couldn’t see their brothers or uncle; they searched around for a bit, keeping a tight grip on each other’s hands so they wouldn’t get separated from each other as well.

“I found Uncle Roman!” Valerie cried, pointing towards a store.  

Patton looked towards the store and saw his uncle walking into it so he dragged Valerie in that direction.  

Once they were inside the shop Patton tapped Roman on the back. “I found you!” He beamed, only to be left horrified when his uncle turned around and he saw it wasn’t his uncle at all, he had just been wearing the same jacket.

“Hey! You’re not Uncle Roman!” Valerie cried. 

“What are you talking about?” The man said. “Get lost! Damn kids,” he muttered as he walked away.

Well...he wasn’t Uncle Roman but he sure was angry like him. 

Patton watched the man leave, and it suddenly hit him: if they didn’t find Roman or Logan then that meant they’d never see them again and he’d be in charge of Valerie forever.

He didn’t want to be in charge! 

Patton started to cry and Valerie patted him on the shoulder. “Why are you sad, Patty?”

“Cause we’re ne-never gonna see Lo-Logan or Uncle Ro-Roman again!” Patton said through his tears. 

“Oh....” Valerie said. “But you still have me!”

That only made Patton sob harder. Of course he loved his sister, but the rest of his family was very important to him too, especially his brothers. Without Logan or Remy, Patton was the eldest, and he would have to get a job and take care of Valerie and he didn’t want to do that, he wasn’t ready to do that! 

It seemed as though he would have to do it though, because the rest of their family was nowhere to be found. They were lost...lost and alone forever in the middle of the mall.

“Hey bud, is everything okay?”

Patton sniffled and looked up at the sound of an unknown voice. There was a man standing above them with pretty purple hair and lots of earrings on his face. 

“No.” Patton said, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve.

“What’s the matter?” the man asked.

Patton took a deep breath. “Valerie had to go to the bathroom and we lost Uncle Roman and Logan so now I have to be in charge but I’m too little to be in charge! I’m not ready to get a job!”

“Boy, that sounds rough!” The man said. 

Patton nodded, pleased that someone understood how serious this was. 

“I can be in charge too!” Valerie piped up.

“No! I’m the oldest!” Patton argued.

“ _Neither_ of you have to be in charge,” the man said. “How about I call the front desk and they can find your uncle for you. You guys can wait here.”

“Yes, please!” Patton said. 

“In the meantime,” the man smiled, “who wants to see the Disney stuff?”

“Me!” both Patton and Valerie cheered. 

Who would say no to that?

 

* * *

 

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Roman asked as he followed his nephews to Hot Topic. “It isn’t as if we don’t know where they are!”

Logan ignored him, but Remy flipped him the bird with the hand that wasn’t holding on to Emile. Thomas had fallen asleep in his stroller and was blissfully unaware of what was going on around him as his brother steered him quickly towards the store. 

“Where are they?” Logan said once they were all cramped inside Hot Topic. 

He had barely gotten the words out when they heard a yell of “Logan!”

Patton ran up to them then, he clashed into Logan and wrapped his arms around his brother. “What were you thinking?” Logan said. “You don’t run off like that!”

However angry Logan sounded, Roman noted that he still returned the hug.

“I’m sorry,” Patton said. “Valerie had to go to the bathroom! I was scared you were gone forever!” 

“Where is Valerie?” Logan asked. 

“She’s with Virgil!” 

Why did this kid have to shout _everything?_

“Virgil? Who’s Virgil?” Logan said.

“He rang you on the phone!” Patton smiled, pulling on Logan’s arm. “He’s nice. Come see!”

_Ughhhhhhhh._

Roman begrudgingly trailed after his nephews. They’d been at the mall for what seemed like ages already; he was tired and in need of a break and he just wanted to go home.  

“There they are!” Patton announced, coming to a halt and pointing to the front counter.

Roman looked over to where he was pointing with very little interest, Valerie was sitting on the counter talking animatedly to the cashier who…..

_Holy Mother of Medusa!_

Being a young famous actor meant that Roman knew a lot of attractive people, but he could quite honestly say that never in his life had he seen someone as hot as this guy was. Granted, he wasn’t Roman’s usual type but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make exceptions for men who looked like they were sculpted by the heavens. 

The cashier was tall and slender with bright purple bangs that swept over his eyes. He had several piercings in his ears, as well as one in his eyebrow and one in his nose. He wore ripped jeans, combat boots and a Fall Out Boy t-shirt that barely covered the tattoos on his arms. 

“Well,” Roman said, leaning against the counter and pushing Valerie out of the way. “I see _now_ why they call it Hot Topic.”

Normally he wouldn’t be so forward, but the gay pride pin next to the name tag on the man’s shirt made him a little more confident, although the cashier didn’t seem impressed.

Nor were the kids by the looks of it; Remy and Logan both made disgusted faces while Patton asked, 

“Why do they call it Hot Topic, Uncle Roman?”

Roman sighed. Flirting was so much harder with kids around.

“Did you actually think that line would work?” the cashier, Virgil, according to the name tag, said. 

“I wasn’t sure but I see now that it didn’t,” Roman said. “Why don’t you let me take you out to dinner and I’ll try again?” 

“Dude, stop.” Virgil begged.

“Okay, but it’s your loss,” Roman said. “A lot of people would love the opportunity to date me.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” the cashier said tiredly. 

“It’s true! Surely you can see why, me being who I am and all,” Roman said with a proud smile.

“A self-conceited douchebag?” Virgil said.

Logan snickered as the smile slid off Roman’s face. 

“No! I’m Roman Sanders, obviously you’ve heard of me.”

“Obviously I have not,” Virgil mocked his tone. 

Roman just didn't understand that; he was a world famous actor, how could someone not have heard of him before?

Roman was seriously about to pull out his phone to show Virgil a clip from his latest movie but a loud squeal punctured the air before he could do so.

“Look! Look!” Emile said, pointing at something above their heads. “It’s Stitch!” he rocked back and forward on the balls of his feet.

“Why is he making that noise? Is he in pain?” Roman asked Logan. 

“No, it’s Stitch.” Logan said smugly. 

Roman looked up to where Emile was pointing, and saw a Lilo and Stitch blanket on one of the higher shelves near Virgil’s counter. Emile clapped his hands together and giggled. 

“He loves Stitch,” Patton told Virgil.

“No kidding,” Virgil smiled.

Roman didn’t get it; why did Virgil stare at him with annoyance in his eyes, but look at Patton as if he were the sweetest thing alive? 

Roman could be sweet!

Just because Virgil didn’t think he was a nice guy didn’t mean that he couldn’t be if he wanted to, and he would prove it. Clearly Virgil liked these kids, so if Roman did a nice thing for them then he was sure to impress the attractive cashier.

“How much for the blanket?”

Almost instantly Roman regretted his decision, because while it was nice to see the surprise on Virgil’s face and Emile was delighted to have his “Stitch,” all the other kids then decided that that meant they could buy something too, and they spent at least twenty minutes perusing the aisles. 

On the other hand, it did give Roman a bit of time to talk to Virgil once he was finished serving a few other customers that had come in. 

“I think they’re looking for the most expensive things on purpose,” Roman whined as the counter started piling up with items. 

Virgil snorted. “So, how’d you end up with babysitting duty anyway? No offence, but you don’t seem like the type to want to interact with kids.”

“Don’t have a choice.” Roman said. “They’re my sister’s children and she died, I’m the only family she had left.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“We weren’t that close,” Roman shrugged. “I’m only sticking around until I can find their dad and get him to come home.”

“And you think you’ll be able to do that?”

“Even if he doesn’t come back, he can at least decide what to do with them.” Roman said. He had no plans to stay with these kids long term.

“Can I give you some advice?” Virgil said, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Sure, why not?” This day was already crazy enough, might as well accept some counselling from the cashier at Hot Topic. 

“Be nicer to them,” Virgil told him. “You may only be around for a little while and that’s fine, but the things you say and do is going to have a long lasting impact on these kids.” 

“I am nice to them!” Roman said.

“That’s not the way Patton and Valerie were telling it,” Virgil said. 

Roman wanted to ask what he meant by that but more customers started coming into the store and he didn’t get a chance. 

 

* * *

 

Logan wasn’t surprised when all his siblings fell asleep on the drive home, it had been a long day and Logan had his head resting against the window well on his way to joining the others in a nap when Roman spoke up. 

“Hey, so….What’s your last name?”

Now that was a rather out of the blue question; was Roman actually trying to learn stuff about them? Did he want to make an effort? 

 _No, surely not, don’t be stupid,_ Logan chastised himself, _as if he cares._

_Still…._

“Sanders.” Logan said.

Roman frowned. “No,” he said with a shake of his head. “ _Your_ last name.” 

“That is my last name,” Logan told him. 

“How can it be your last name when it’s my last name?”

“Mom gave us all the last name Sanders because she wanted to keep the name going and she knew you wouldn’t have any kids,” Logan explained.

“What made her think that?” Roman sounded almost offended, but Logan raised his eyebrow and he softened. “I suppose that’s a fair assumption. What did your dad make of that?”

“He didn’t care, he said that she could do whatever she wanted with us.”

In hindsight, that should have been one of the first warning signs, but Calliope, sweet and a tad too kind, had taken it simply as a sign of her husband’s faith in her.

“Right.” Roman said as he drove into their street. “Well, what’s your father’s last name then?”

Ah, so this is what it was about, Roman didn’t really give a crap about learning more about the kids. Logan had been foolish to believe otherwise.

“You won’t find him, you know? Mom tried,” Logan said. “She wanted him to meet Thomas at least once, but he never did. We don’t matter to him.”

“ _I_ haven’t tried yet,” Roman said, turning the car into their driveway and bringing it to a halt. “I have connections who can help me.”

“So you find him and then what?” Logan asked, growing frustrated. “He left us, he doesn’t want us.”

“I’ll get him to come back.”

“Why does it matter to you? He won’t stay even if he does,” Logan insisted. 

“Maybe not, but he can figure out what to do with you.” Roman said. “I don’t want to be here, I don’t belong here. I have a life that doesn’t involve children and doing my own grocery shopping. As soon as I find him then I’m out of here.” 

“He won’t want us.” Logan said quietly, looking down at his hands. “The others and I...we’ll be split up. You can’t let that happen, please…” Logan hated to beg but he’d do anything to keep his brothers and sister with him. “They need me, they wouldn’t make it without me.”

“You don’t know that’s what your dad will do.” Roman was beginning to sound annoyed. “Just give me his last name.”

“Of course that’s what he’ll do. He’s already done it!”

“Logan, the name!” Roman snapped.

Logan sank back against his seat, defeated. Not for the first time, he questioned his mother’s choice. Why had she left them with Roman, of all the people in the world? Even their neighbour Brenda would have been a better option. 

“Hardin,” Logan mumbled. “That’s his last name.”

“There? Was that so difficult?” Roman said with a groan. “Stop trying to argue with me all the time, would you?” 

He got out of the van, slamming the door shut loudly and startling the other kids awake.

Somewhere behind Logan, Thomas started to cry, and if Logan hadn’t been so tired, he knew he would have joined him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is your favourite of the kids so far? I have a huge soft spot for Remy, but I also want to give Logan all the hugs!


	5. The Red Fox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While out exploring the town, Roman runs into a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Swearing, death mentions, slight arguing, and Roman just being a jerk.

* * *

Even with the new information he had about the kids’ father, Roman knew he wouldn’t be able to track him down on his own.

While the children watched a movie, Roman stepped outside and called his friends back home, enlisting their help in his search. He gave them all the information that he had, which admittedly wasn’t much, and they assured him that they’d look into it for him. Afterwards his friends said that they had to leave to get ready for a party, and they hung up leaving Roman feeling a little flat; if he were at home, he’d be attending that party with them.

“Instead I’m stuck here,” he told himself with a sigh. “How did I end up with this life?” 

He knew how, of course.

It was his damn sister’s fault; first she had had six kids to a man who had left her during her last pregnancy, then she had chosen Roman as the caregiver of her kids if something happened to her, and then she had only gone ahead and died! 

Okay, so maybe that last one wasn’t her fault, but the first two she could definitely be blamed for.

Then again, maybe Roman was just as much to blame. He was the idiot who had agreed to take in her kids when he had no interest in them, but he had truly believed that nothing would ever happened to Calliope until they were all grown up, and in his defense, she had cornered him at their parents’ funeral, a time when he was emotional and vulnerable.

So yes, thinking about it, this was all Calliope’s fault. 

Roman sighed again and slid his phone into his pocket before heading back inside; there was no point dwelling on his difficult relationship with his sister, it would only make him more annoyed.

He wandered into the living-room and sat down on the far end of the couch to see what the kids were watching, but it was only the ending credits of a movie.

“Stitch now!” Emile squealed from his spot on the floor. “Stitch! Stitch! Stitch!” he chanted, kicking his feet out. 

Remy swapped the movies in the DVD player and Emile shuffled as close to the television as he could get. He was wrapped up in the new blanket that Roman had bought him, and Roman _almost_ smiled; the boy really loved that little blue alien. 

Roman could relate to that, he was a bit of a Disney fan too, and he even found himself enjoying the movie as he watched along with them. In fact, Roman was so engrossed in the film that he tuned the others out a bit, so he nearly jumped out of his skin when about halfway through the movie he felt something tugging on his leg.

“What the-?” he glanced down to see that Emile had moved from his spot on the floor and was now trying to climb up Roman’s leg.

“Up,” he said with a huff.

“Why is he doing that?” Roman asked Logan.

“Because he wants to sit on your lap, obviously.” 

“Oh...no, thank you,” Roman told Emile.

“Up!” Emile whined. “Up!”

“I said no.” 

Roman definitely did not want Emile’s grubby little hands staining his very expensive clothes, so he gently pulled Emile off of him. Unfortunately, it caused the toddler to stumble and fall backwards; it clearly hadn’t actually hurt him, but the shock was enough to make him start wailing.

“Oh no!” Patton said. “Why did you make Emile sad?” 

“I barely touched him!”

“He just wanted to sit with you.” Logan said as he got off the couch and picked up Emile. “Mom always let him sit with her.”

“I’m not your mother,” Roman mumbled, but Logan heard him anyway.

“Don’t you think we know that?!” He snapped as Emile sobbed into his shoulder. “If anyone knows that then it’s us, and trust me, we’d rather have her here than you any day of the week.”

He paused for a moment, rubbing Emile’s back and consoling him as best he could. 

“Emile is little,” he continued, glaring at Roman. “He doesn’t understand why his mom was here one day and then suddenly gone the next, and now he’s got you to deal with. We don’t want to be around you anymore than you want to be around us.”

He carried Emile out of the room without another word, and Patton and Valerie followed. 

“What’s his problem?” Roman said, turning to Remy. 

Remy just scooped up the remote that was lying on the ground. Roman thought he was going to turn off the television, but instead he smiled at Roman and then threw the remote right at his uncle’s forehead.

 

* * *

  
After ‘the incident,’ Roman kept away from the kids as much as he could. He still lived in the house, but he barely interacted with them, and once his new bed was delivered, he threw out Calliope’s old one and locked himself up in the bedroom to avoid them.

The children didn’t bother him until early one morning when Logan crept into his room and shook him awake. 

“We have to go to school,” Logan said when Roman stared at him sleepily.

“School?”

“It’s the big building where people go to learn things.”

“I know what school is,” Roman said. “I just wondered why you have to go today?”

“Because we haven’t been in three weeks, and we are going to fall behind.” Logan replied. 

“And I suppose you want a lift?” 

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

It wasn’t as a matter of fact, Roman had been planning to leave the house anyway; he had been growing tired of seeing the same four walls everyday, and was itching to get out and explore.

Logan directed him on where to go once they had all piled into the van. The two youngest went to daycare, the three middle kids went to elementary school, and then Logan was dropped off at the middle school. Roman almost cheered as soon as they were all gone.

It was such a nice day that Roman chose to leave the car at home and take a walk into town; he was delighted whenever somebody stopped him and asked him what he was doing so far away from home because it gave him the opportunity to talk himself up and get more people to admire him.

Eventually he stopped for lunch at a diner called The Red Fox, and was thrilled when he recognized one of the customers sitting in the end booth. Roman sauntered over and slid into the booth across from the customer. 

“Hey, Hot Topic,” he said. “Are you stalking me?”

Virgil didn’t look up from the notebook he was scribbling into. 

“If I was stalking you then I would have come in after you, wouldn’t I?”

“Then it must be fate that keeps bringing us together!” Roman concluded.

Virgil finally lifted his head and Roman was startled to see his eyes were watery. 

“Or it’s your refusal to take no for an answer,” Virgil said. “Listen, I’m not in the mood right now, so could you please leave me alone?”

“You’ve been crying,” Roman said, ignoring his request.

“You figured that all out on your own, huh?” Virgil scoffed. “Your parents must be so proud.”

“They were.” Roman said with a happy smile. “They always told me so.”

“Good for you.”

“Here’s your coffee, Virgil.” A waitress appeared at their side, placing a mug down in front of Virgil.

“Thanks, Vickie.” 

“Who’s your friend?” The waitress, Vickie, eyed Roman up and down.

“Dunno.” Virgil said. “Barely know the guy.”

“I swear I know you from somewhere,” Vickie said to Roman. “You're so familiar.” 

“Perhaps you’ve seen me on the big screen!” Roman said. He would happily give her an autograph if she so desired. 

“The dude thinks he’s a famous actor or some shit like that,” Virgil said.

“I am! How could you not have heard of me?” Roman whined. “It’s unfathomable.” 

“Maybe you’re just not that good at your job.”

“How dare you!”

Vickie giggled. “You two are so cute.”

“I am, he’s not,” Virgil said.

“Okay, now you’re just being hurtful.”

“As fun as this is, I have to get back.” She squeezed Virgil’s shoulder gently. “You know where I am if you need to talk. It’s been tough on all of us, so I understand how you’re feeling,” she said much to Roman’s confusion. 

“Right back at you.”

“Enjoy your date, boys.” The waitress said and then moved on to the next table. 

Roman was amused that she thought they were on a date, and he would have commented on it, but he was actually more curious about why this gorgeous creature had been crying, so he pushed the date comment aside for another time. 

“Are you going to tell me why you were crying now?” Roman asked.

Virgil squinted at him. “Why would I tell you?”

“Because I won’t leave you alone if you don’t.”

“You won’t leave me alone even if I do.” Virgil pointed out.

“Exactly, so you might as well tell me.”

“Do you even really care?” Virgil said, raising an eyebrow.

Yes, Roman cared; he cared about being the one to cheer Virgil up so that Virgil would fall in love with him and they could live happily ever after...hopefully as far away from those kids as possible. 

“Absolutely.” Roman sat forward and locked eyes with Virgil, making it clear that the other had his full, undivided attention. 

“It’s kind of dumb, really.” Virgil said but Roman didn’t say anything so he pressed on. “As you can probably guess, I come to this diner a lot because the people are nice, and it’s just a chill place where I can focus on my work.” 

He gestured at his notebook and Roman frowned. “I thought that store was your work?”

“That’s just to pay my bills.” Virgil shrugged. 

“So, what _is_ your work?” 

“One story at a time, okay?” Virgil said and Roman shut his mouth. “So anyway, I’ve gotten to know a lot of the staff here, and there was this one waitress that I really liked. She was always so kind to me and supportive, sort of like a big sister or a motherly figure, and she just helped me through so much.”

“Oh?”

“But the last couple of weeks I noticed she wasn’t in, and I figured that maybe she was sick or on holidays or something,” Virgil took a deep breath, “so I finally asked Vickie where she was, and…” 

He trailed off, and Roman nodded solemnly. “She changed jobs?” he guessed.

Virgil gave him an odd look. “Do you think I’d be this sad if she had just switched jobs?” he said. “No, I would have been happy for her, she always wanted out of this place.” 

“Well then what happened to her?” Roman didn’t like not knowing how a story ended. He just liked it when people cut to the chase.

“She died.” Virgil said after a short pause. “I didn’t even know, and nobody thought to tell me, and I didn’t even get to go to the funeral or anything.”

“Would that have helped you?”

“I don’t know. I would have liked the option,” Virgil sighed. “Calliope helped me, and maybe saying a proper goodbye to her would have made me feel like I thanked her in some small way.” 

“Yeah, maybe- hold on,” Roman said as he processed what Virgil had just told him. “Did you just say Calliope?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“That was my sister.” Roman said. 

“Your sister,” Virgil said and then realisation dawned across his face. “Wait, you’re telling me that those kids the other day, they were Calliope’s kids?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh, man,” Virgil muttered. “She _adored_ those kids, they were all she ever spoke about.” He frowned. “So, why the hell did she leave them with you?”

“Fuck you.” Roman said. “And also, how dare you?” 

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Let’s be real,” he said. “You know nothing about kids, do you?” 

“I know that they’re loud and annoying and they complain a lot.” Roman said.

“Maybe you have more in common with them than you thought,” Virgil smirked. 

“I’m starting to think that maybe we can’t be friends, after all.” Roman pouted.

Virgil laughed, and damn… if that wasn’t one of the nicest sounds Roman had ever heard in his life. “What a shame that is.” 

“Truly, a travesty.” Roman mused. “You’re throwing away a potential friendship with one of the greatest actors of our time.” 

“And the most humble one, apparently.”

“Modesty doesn’t draw a crowd, sugar.” 

Virgil shook his head. “I still can’t believe Calliope is _your_ sister, you’re so different.”

“She was a fair bit older than me,” Roman said. “We didn’t have much to do with each other. She had moved out and had Logan before I had even started high school.”

“How old are you?”

Why did people keep asking him that? They would know if they just picked up a magazine once in a while. 

“Twenty-one.”

“Right.” Virgil said. “And now you’re in charge of six kids.”

He was talking more to himself than to Roman, and it seemed as though he was calculating something in his mind. 

“And some fish,” Roman piped up. “Six kids and some fish.”

Although Logan was more in charge of the fish than anybody; Roman had seen him cleaning out the tank and feeding them on numerous occasions, it seemed to be a pastime of his. 

Virgil bit his lip. “I can already tell that I’m going to regret this,” he said.

“Regret what?” 

Roman was bewildered when Virgil held out his hand towards him. “Moving a bit fast, aren’t we?”

“No, jackass.” Virgil snickered. “Give me your phone.”

“Oh!”

Roman quickly unlocked and handed over his phone before Virgil could change his mind. Virgil typed his number in as a new contact, but then he held the phone out of Roman’s reach, glaring at him. 

“I’m giving you this for the kids only, you got that?”

“Yeah, yeah, totally.”

“I don’t trust you with them,” Virgil said. “You don’t have any idea what you’re doing with them, but Calliope obviously picked you for a reason, and I’m going to respect her wishes. I wouldn’t be a good friend to her if I didn’t keep an eye on you though, so if you ever need help with them or if you need somebody to babysit them, call me.”

“I will, no doubt.”

“The only words you heard out of that were call me, huh?” 

“For sure!” Roman said, barely listening.

He was too excited, he had done it! He had gotten the attention and phone number of the most attractive man alive!

He took the phone back eagerly, and it was all he could do to not jump up and down in his seat. 

“Okay.” Virgil said, closing his notebook shut. “I have to leave, I’ve got to go and meet my brother, and no, you’re not invited,” he added as Roman stood up. 

“Never assumed I was,” Roman said. 

“I find that hard to believe.” Virgil shuffled out of the booth and picked up a backpack that had been at his feet. “I’ll hear from you?”

Too freaking right he would.

“Wait-” Roman grabbed Virgil’s arm as he made to leave.

“What?”

Roman opened up the camera on his phone and snapped a picture of Virgil. “Now you may go.”

“The hell was that about?” Virgil said. 

“You need a contact photo.” Roman said as if he hadn’t just wanted to take a picture of Virgil for no real reason. 

“Seriously?”

Roman ignored that remark, and went about setting the photo to the caller ID; he laughed softly when he saw what Virgil had saved his contact name as and waved Virgil away, indicating that he was finally free to leave without interruption.

“I suppose I’ll speak to you later... Hot Topic.” 

 

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all staying safe! Keep on keeping on, friends.


	6. Chocolate Chip Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil makes it his mission to teach Roman an important life lesson, and give Patton the one thing he's been craving since his mother's passing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Death mention, food mention, swearing, selectively mute Remy, Roman being stuck up lol

* * *

Since giving Roman his number, Virgil had expected Roman to ring every five minutes, so he was surprised when it took almost a week for Roman to give him a call.

It was very early Saturday morning, but luckily Virgil was wide awake anyway; there were some nights where he just couldn’t sleep, so he had spent most of the night before just watching scary videos on his laptop. 

He grabbed the phone off his nightstand and pressed it to his ear. “Hello?” he mumbled before realising he had forgotten to actually accept the call. 

He tried again. 

“Hello?” 

“Good morning, Hot Topic.” Roman’s voice lacked its usual enthusiasm. “Did I wake you?”

 “At six in the morning? Course not.” Virgil said. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this call? 

“Uncle Roman!” Virgil heard someone whine in the background. “Who are you talking to?! I wanna talk!”

“No! Go away!” Roman snapped before returning his attention to Virgil. “It’s the small one with the glasses, Patton, he wants chocolate chip pancakes. I think Calliope used to make them for him and he hasn’t stopped asking for some since I got here.”

Oh, Virgil knew exactly what Patton wanted; Calliope had always made the best pancakes.

“So make him some,” Virgil snorted.

“I don’t know how to.”

“Well, they’re probably never going to be as good as Calliope’s,” Virgil said, “but I think all he really wants is-”

“No.” Roman interrupted Virgil. “I mean that..I...I don’t know how to cook.”

For the first time since Virgil had met him, Roman sounded rather shy, and for some reason Virgil found that cute as hell. 

But of course he couldn’t give Roman the satisfaction of knowing that.

“What do you mean you don’t know how to cook?”

“I never had a reason to learn,” Roman said. “I’ve always had people cook for me.”

“Hang on… You've been with those kids for a couple of weeks now,” Virgil mused. “What have you been feeding them every other day?” 

“Tiny Nerd makes them sandwiches,” Roman said, “and he knows how to cook noodles.” 

“Tiny Nerd?” 

“Logan.”

“Firstly, don’t call him that,” Virgil snapped. “That’s not cool.” 

There was a pause. “Sorry.”

“Secondly, you’re telling me that they’ve only had noodles and sandwiches the whole time you’ve been there?” 

“Yes?”

“Oh my god,” Virgil said. “These kids are gonna die.”

“I’m not that bad!”

Yes, he was. “Text me your address and I’ll be over soon, okay?” Virgil said. “Just leave the kids alone until I get there.”

“Easily, but why?” Roman asked.

“Because they’ve already proven that they have a better chance of survival if you don’t interfere.”

Virgil ended the call halfway through Roman’s indignant gasp, and rolled out of bed; he got dressed quickly and grabbed a couple of cookbooks from his kitchen before he left. 

He wasn’t bothered by Roman’s request; it was better than spending the day in his small stuffy apartment, but he’d be damned if Roman didn’t know how to cook by the time nightfall came around.

Virgil made a quick stop at the grocery store to buy a few things and Roman’s text came through just as he was leaving; Virgil was pleased to note that Calliope’s house wasn’t far from his at all, and he knew the exact street he had to go down to get there. 

Patton answered the door when Virgil arrived with his arms laden with groceries, and the child smiled widely. 

“Virgil! Hi! Do you want help?! I can help!” 

“Thanks, Patton, that would be great!” Virgil said, handing over one of the lighter bags. “Could you show me to the kitchen?” 

“Yeah!” Patton beamed.

Virgil had only just placed the bags down on the kitchen counter when he found himself with an armful of Valerie. 

“Hi, Virgil!” she said cheerfully. “Why are you here? Are you gonna live here now? Are you gonna stay with us forever?”

Virgil chuckled. “No, I’m afraid not.” He said and both children pouted. “I’m here because I heard somebody wants some chocolate chip pancakes.” 

“Me! That’s me!” Patton said, his eyes lighting up with excitement. 

“Me, too!” Valerie piped up.

“No! Only I did! You wanted eggs!” Patton whined.

“No, I didn’t!”

“You did!”

“I want pancakes!”

“Don’t worry,” Virgil interjected. “There’ll be enough pancakes _and_ eggs for you both. Now, where is everybody else?” he asked before the bickering continued.

“In here!” Patton said, taking hold of Virgil’s hand and tugging. 

Virgil allowed Patton to lead him from the kitchen into the living-room where the other kids were curled up in front of the television; the eldest child noticed them first and he frowned.

“You’re the man from the store,” he said.

“That’s right, I’m Virgil. I don’t think I got your name the other day,” Virgil said. He, of course, knew all the names of the children but he wanted to give them the chance to introduce themselves first. 

“I’m Logan. Why are you here?”

“Your uncle asked me to make some pancakes,” Virgil said. 

“You’re friends with him now?” Logan said.

“No, not exactly.” Virgil said. “I was better friends with your mom.”

“You knew our mom?” Logan asked.

“I did. I used to have lunch at her work,” Virgil said. “She was really nice, I’m sorry about what happened.”

Logan nodded slowly. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “Have you met the others?” he asked after a short pause. “That’s Emile and Thomas,” he pointed at the two youngest, “and Remy,” he gestured at the boy next to him. “Please don’t think he’s rude if he doesn’t answer you, he hasn’t spoken since Dad left.” 

“That’s fine.” Virgil said. He smiled at Thomas who was playing with toys on the floor. “Good to see you’re actually awake this time,” he cooed as the toddler stared at him. “You are so cute!”

Emile finally seemed to realise the new presence in the room and he tore his eyes away from the television. “Stitch!” he cried, pointing at Virgil. “Stitch!”

“You like your blanket, huh, little guy?” Virgil said.

“Actually, I believe he is calling you Stitch,” Logan said with a small smile. 

Emile scrambled to his feet and ran towards Virgil. “Up!” he exclaimed. “Up!” 

“Of course you can come up,” Virgil said, and Emile squealed with laughter when Virgil lifted him up into his arms. “It doesn’t take much to make you happy, does it?” Virgil said fondly. “Where’s Roman?” he asked Logan.

“In Mom’s - his room,” Logan said. He looked uncomfortable for a minute and then stood up. “I should feed the fish,” he said.

Virgil could tell what he was doing, he was trying to find a way to avoid talking about his mother...anything to distract himself from the pain.

Virgil knew what that was like, and it was important to let Logan deal with it however he needed to; the reality of it would sink in later once some time had passed.

“You’ve got fish?” Virgil asked, following Logan to the dining-room where a massive fish tank stood in the corner of the room. 

“Goldfish,” Logan nodded. “I got them for my birthday. A lot of people say they’re boring, but I like them.”

“They are soothing to watch,” Virgil said as Emile waved at the fish. “Do they have names?”

“Alvin, Simon and Theodore.” Logan said, pointing them out. “Patton asked me if he could name them,” he added with a sigh. “He loves those stupid chipmunks.” 

“It was really nice of you to let him name your pets, not many brothers would.” Virgil said, and Logan went slightly pink. 

“Hot Topic! I thought I heard your dulcet tones.” Roman came around the corner, strutting into the room like he owned the place, which in a way he did.

“Oh damn, just as we were starting to have a nice time.” Virgil said.

“Your words cut deeper than any wound,” Roman whined.

“Whatever, Shakespeare, just get in the kitchen.” Virgil ordered. “We have work to do.”

Logan turned to Virgil once he had finished feeding his fish. “Would you teach me how to make pancakes, too?” he said. “Mom was going to show me, before….Well, I want to be able to cook.”

“Of course I will.” Virgil said.

“I don’t understand why you need me here.” Roman said as they went into the kitchen. “Not if Tiny Nerd- um, Logan, is offering to cook.” He corrected himself upon seeing Virgil’s raised eyebrow.

“Because you can’t expect Logan to do all the work for you, and I refuse to let these kids live on noodles and sandwiches any longer,” Virgil said.

“So you’re willing to let them have pancakes forever?”

“No, I’m going to teach you how to cook more than that,” Virgil said patiently, “but we will start with pancakes.”

Emile pointed at the stove. “Ouch,” he told Virgil.

“That’s right, Emile! It is ouch,” Virgil smiled. “Look, Roman, he’s gotten the hang of it faster than you.” 

Roman rolled his eyes and Virgil set Emile back down on the ground before turning to face his students of the morning.

Logan was much easier to teach than Roman was; the boy was eager to learn and willing to listen, unlike Roman who complained at every single step. It didn’t take Logan very long to have made a nice batch of pancakes, and Virgil called for a break so they could eat them.

Patton was the first one at the table and he doused his pancakes in syrup before shoving a forkful of pancake into his mouth. “Yummy!” he declared after a rather large swallow. “They taste like Mommy’s!”

“I’m glad you like them, but make sure you chew properly, bud.” Virgil told him.

“I will! Thanks for making my pancakes.” He smiled at Logan.

“It was easy,” Logan shrugged. “Thank you for showing me, Virgil.”

“I was just glad to have _someone_ listening to me,” Virgil said and Roman shrunk down in his chair a bit. “Don’t think you’ve gotten out of it yet. You’ve got more to learn after breakfast,” he added and Roman groaned.

For a little while, the house was actually silent as each of the kids tucked into their meal. They all seemed so genuinely happy to be eating pancakes, which made Virgil feel a strange mixture of pleasure and sadness.

How bad had things become for them that simply eating some delicious food made them so delighted? 

Virgil tried not to think too much about the answer to that question, and he sat down on the floor with a plate of his own, pulling Thomas closer to him. 

“Thomas, here,” Virgil broke off a small piece of a pancake and held it out towards the toddler who took it.

Thomas ate it and then pointed at the first tank. “Fsssh,” he informed Virgil.

“That’s right,” Virgil said. “Logan takes really good care of his fish, doesn’t he?”

“It’s not that hard to,” Logan said, but he looked rather pleased with himself anyway.

As soon as the kids had finished their breakfast, Virgil sent them to go and play in the backyard so he could continue working with Roman. Virgil discovered that Roman was actually quite skilled once he resigned himself to the fact that there was no escaping his fate, and by the end of the day, he had learned how to make a vegetable dish, spaghetti and a beef casserole.

“Where did you learn to cook?” Roman asked as the two of them did the washing up later that night. 

Virgil shrugged. “It was either learn or starve,” he said. “I was mostly raised by my brother, and he’s a god awful cook, so I just bought a couple of cook books and went from there.”

“You’ve never thought to teach your brother?” Roman said.

“I’ve tried but he’s more stubborn than you are,” Virgil scoffed. “He thinks that I just have a weak stomach, and he won’t listen to me.”

“Is he younger than you?”

“No. I just said he raised me, didn’t I?”

“Sorry,” Roman said, pulling the plug out of the drain and wiping his hands on a dishtowel. “I’m just trying to figure it out.”

“What?”

“How you got so good with kids.” Roman said. “They really like you.” 

“Yeah, because I don’t treat them like mini servants.” Virgil said, not unkindly. “You go around barking orders at them like a drill sergeant and you expect them to follow; they’re kids, it’s their job to disobey you.”

Roman turned to face Virgil. “But they listen to you!”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Roman.” Virgil sighed. “You’ve just got to remember that they’re going through a lot right now.” 

“So am I.” 

“It doesn’t seem that way,” Virgil said. 

“Well it is,” Roman said, folding his arms over his chest. “My whole life has been taken away from me, and now I’m stuck with these kids that I know nothing about!”

“Have you tried learning?” Virgil questioned.

“No, and I don’t want to!”

Virgil wisely chose not to point out how childish Roman was acting, and that he would probably get along great with the kids if he gave it a shot. 

“Then stop complaining,” Virgil said. “You cry more than the baby.” 

“You can be quite rude, you know?” Roman said.

_Oh, the irony in that._

“I never said I wasn’t.” Virgil said and glanced at his phone. “It’s getting late, I should head home, I have work tomorrow.”

“You’ll be back though?” Roman said, almost panicky. “I need more cooking lessons.”

He was talking as though he hadn’t insulted Virgil not even thirty seconds ago. “I think you’ve got the hang of it, to be honest.”

“No-but, I-” Roman’s eyes were wide with fear and Virgil couldn’t deny that he took the slightest bit of pleasure in it. “Maybe you could come over again? You know, for...for them. They like you.” 

“Maybe I will,” Virgil conceded. “I like them.”

“Good, yeah, cool. How about Wednesday?” Roman said.

“Why so soon? You can’t handle them on your own for more than a few days?” 

“No, I was just hoping that you could babysit.” Roman said. “I have an audition on Wednesday.” 

“An audition,” Virgil echoed. “Where at?”

“Just the local theatre,” Roman shrugged. “Nothing fancy, but I need something else to do while I’m trapped here, and I’m so much better than all the other actors in this town, it’ll be an easy audition.”

“Is that so?” Virgil smirked.

“Clearly.”

Virgil knew the director of the local theatre extremely well, and he knew that he was not an easy man to impress, but Roman was so confident in his abilities that Virgil didn’t _dare_ to squash his dreams, so he kept his mouth shut. 

He slid off the counter without another word to Roman and went to find the kids so he could say goodbye; they were disappointed to see he was leaving and Patton hugged him around the stomach as tight as he could. 

“Do you have to go? You can stay.”

“Yeah, you can have Patty’s bed! He can sleep on the floor,” Valerie said and Patton nodded.

“I can!” 

“You’re very kind,” Virgil laughed, “but that’s your bed and I couldn’t take it. I’ll be back in a couple of days, okay?”

“You will?” Logan said.

“Yeah, I’m taking care of you while your uncle goes out.” Virgil said. “I have heaps of fun activities for us all to do,” he said to Patton, who grinned.

“I knew you’d help me out, Hot Topic.” Roman said, coming up behind them. “You’ve not let me down yet.”

“I’m doing it for them, not you,” Virgil said but Roman didn’t bat an eyelid.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“My teddy bear helps me sleep,” Patton interjected and Virgil smiled. “He stops bad dreams.”

“Well, you make sure to hug your teddy real tight, okay?” Virgil said.

“I will!”

Even though he would be back in a few days, the children were acting like they were never going to see Virgil again; they all took turns hugging him and thanking him for the food, and the four eldest ones walked him out to his car.

Virgil felt almost guilty leaving them, and he watched them in the rearview mirror as he drove away. They waved the whole time he drove away, and he was sure that they didn’t stop until his car was well and truly out of sight. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want any of the characters to interact more. I know that some of them tend to get lost in the shuffle because there's so many of them, but if you want any one to interact with another character then feel free to ask... and I know Remy hasn't had many scenes yet, but I have plans for him so don't worry.


End file.
